Tired: A Good Kind of Tired

I am very tired this morning.

On my third cup of coffee, I still spilled it over the counter while stirring in my whipped cream. Which reminds me of the floor that needs mopping while I take the time to blog or procrastinate depending upon your perspective.

Chloe the wonder dog woke me up at 9:00 a.m. to take her to the dog park. Groping around in the dark [okay, so it's not dark at 9:00 a.m. but when you go sleep at 1 a.m., back to the story] I wash my face, brush my teeth, put on my contacts and my dog-park sweats and head out the door. Mind you we did already “go for potty” at 5:13 a.m. But then again, this is part of my normal Saturday routine. And, the love for my dog compels me. We had a great walk.

As I say, though, after Friday Night Ministry, it is tough to wake up alert. It’s tough to wake up.

Often people will say to me that I do too much, or my plate is too full, or I am too tired and need to rest. All good intentions.

Granted, I am ripping the sermon from last Wednesday, editing it in Audacity, uploading it to our site, messing about with photos of Pastor Kurt on Photoshop to upload, all the while I need to read Acts 24, choose songs for tomorrow, send the lyrics for the bulletin to pastor, finish this post, and eventually take a shower, and yes I have a normal 40-hour-a-week-one hour-commute job, and I lead worship three times a week and teach the kids on Fridays. My life is full and I like it that way.

Dealing with chronic fatigue over the last four years and reconciling that with my passion for serving the Lord has been quite difficult, actually. And there were times when I took a sabbatical. But, I was still tired. My body still ached. My joints were still painful. I was tired. Just plain tired.

So I decided that wasn’t the best route or course of action for me any more. I decided to trust in His promise to me in Isaiah 40:31. I have understood Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:10. I have lived for Philippians 4:13.

If I’m going to be tired, I want the good kind of I-served-the-Lord-and-people-are-encouraged-tired. I choose to have the I-am-in-my-calling-tired. And it is moments like those (read a testimony from last night here) that keep me going.

Isaiah 40:31 (Amplified Bible)

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him]

shall change and renew their strength and power;

they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God]

as eagles [mount up to the sun];

they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.^(A)